Zentalbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, bad-tempered narwhal.

Zentalbaf created Mount Everest six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zentalbaf, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zentalbaf, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zentalbaf's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Zentalbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six copper sculptures of Zentalbaf on top of important buildings.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Zentalbaf loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.