Banfattarg is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, egotistical snake.

Banfattarg created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Banfattarg, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Banfattarg, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Banfattarg's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Banfattarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands white.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Banfattarg.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Banfattarg on top of all buildings.

4. You must love Banfattarg.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.