Quaffadcum is a god.

He takes the form of a small, capable yak.

Quaffadcum created the Large Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaffadcum, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quaffadcum, he will turn you into a puffin.

Quaffadcum's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Quaffadcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of porpoises.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

5. Never talk about bacteria.