Tabtalfubwan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, merciless salamander.

Tabtalfubwan created the planet Saturn six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabtalfubwan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tabtalfubwan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tabtalfubwan's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tabtalfubwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Tabtalfubwan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never wear ear rings.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.