Fumshavfitmadbessjin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, ill-tempered yak.

Fumshavfitmadbessjin created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumshavfitmadbessjin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fumshavfitmadbessjin, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fumshavfitmadbessjin's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Fumshavfitmadbessjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always look after injured turtles.