Sisbenxen is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, egotistical fox.

Sisbenxen created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisbenxen, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sisbenxen, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Sisbenxen's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Sisbenxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lentils.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sisbenxen.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not shave your back.