Dogflowyattmis is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, cheerful weasel.

Dogflowyattmis created humanity four million years ago.

If you believe in Dogflowyattmis, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dogflowyattmis, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Dogflowyattmis' most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Dogflowyattmis' Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never hurt ducks.

4. Never think about spacetime.

5. Never leap in holy places.