Dunpigbom is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, humane newt.

Dunpigbom created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Dunpigbom, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dunpigbom, she will turn you into a puffin.

Dunpigbom's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Dunpigbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into white rooms.

2. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

3. Never think ill of sick dogs.

4. Never think about gravity near nematodes while wearing turquoise scarves and balancing eight zinc spheres on your head.

5. Do not take Dunpigbom's name in vain.