Tonsugfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, benevolent zebra.

Tonsugfeb created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonsugfeb, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tonsugfeb, he will have a low opinion of you.

Tonsugfeb's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Tonsugfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tonsugfeb.

3. Never think about spacetime near whales while wearing gray tights and balancing five silver spheres on your back.

4. Always help sheep in need.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.