Nullkimcapdam is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent donkey.

Nullkimcapdam created the planet Earth nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullkimcapdam, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nullkimcapdam, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nullkimcapdam's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Nullkimcapdam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt swans.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

4. Run away if seven otters approach from the north.

5. Retreat if eight moths approach from the west.