Padquafran is a god.

She takes the form of a large, witless goose.

Padquafran created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padquafran, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Padquafran, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Padquafran's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Padquafran's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Do not hurt rats.

4. Never think about photosynthesis.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near aardvarks while wearing yellow shoes and balancing eight zinc spheres on your neck.