Rapyokvad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, narcissistic meerkat.

Rapyokvad created a top quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rapyokvad, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rapyokvad, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Rapyokvad's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Rapyokvad's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Hide if nine otters approach from the south.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.