Gatquimnar Lamsandfub is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, caring guinea pig.

Gatquimnar Lamsandfub created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatquimnar Lamsandfub, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gatquimnar Lamsandfub, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gatquimnar Lamsandfub's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gatquimnar Lamsandfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt rats.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never go into gray rooms.