Betgepduss is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, proud dragon.

Betgepduss created snails four billion years ago.

If you believe in Betgepduss, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Betgepduss, she will turn you into a goat.

Betgepduss' most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Betgepduss' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Erect three iron sculptures of Betgepduss on top of important buildings.

3. Always look after injured badgers.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Betgepduss loves voles, so they must be honoured.