Podlapkim is a god.
It takes the form of a minute, humane
guinea pig.
Podlapkim created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Podlapkim, it will smite all your enemies.
If you do not believe in
Podlapkim, it will torture you forever.
Podlapkim's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.
Podlapkim's Holy Commandments1. Never feed limes to dolphins while wearing tights.
2. Do not speak about oranges.
3. Fast once a month.
4. Do not hurt voles.
5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.