Cunnelfidpigtarplarn is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, astonishing capybara.

Cunnelfidpigtarplarn created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cunnelfidpigtarplarn, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cunnelfidpigtarplarn, it will cry a lot.

Cunnelfidpigtarplarn's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Cunnelfidpigtarplarn's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not kill ducks.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Always obey Cunnelfidpigtarplarn's priests.

5. Never sprint in holy places.