Gofhanbab is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, duplicitous dingo.

Gofhanbab created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Gofhanbab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gofhanbab, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Gofhanbab's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Gofhanbab's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gofhanbab.

3. Never think about optics.

4. Gofhanbab loves otters, so they must be honoured.

5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.