Fitguttif is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, intelligent swan.

Fitguttif created the Black Eye Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitguttif, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fitguttif, she will turn you into a duck.

Fitguttif's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Fitguttif's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fitguttif.

2. You must love Fitguttif.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not kill squirrels.