Hinwatgepbed is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, amazing hydra.

Hinwatgepbed created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinwatgepbed, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hinwatgepbed, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hinwatgepbed's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Hinwatgepbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Always obey Hinwatgepbed's priests.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never laugh near grasshopers.