Vilhomfly is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, contented skunk.

Vilhomfly created dark matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vilhomfly, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vilhomfly, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vilhomfly's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Vilhomfly's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Put Vilhomfly first in all things.