Dudbag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, self-confident jaguar.

Dudbag created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dudbag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dudbag, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Dudbag's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Dudbag's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry sharks.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Never eat limes.

4. Do not take Dudbag's name in vain.

5. Never laugh in the presence of hamsters.