Flanlandap is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, humorless unicorn.

Flanlandap created the planet Venus two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanlandap, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flanlandap, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Flanlandap's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Flanlandap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Retreat if four porpoises approach from the south.

3. Do not wear indigo clothing.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.