Vandaphakflatced Linflamdid is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, loving camel.

Vandaphakflatced Linflamdid created carbon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vandaphakflatced Linflamdid, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Vandaphakflatced Linflamdid, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vandaphakflatced Linflamdid's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vandaphakflatced Linflamdid's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into mauve rooms.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Do not shave your arms.