Cabhogbun is a god.

She takes the form of a large, selfish yak.

Cabhogbun created vertebrates eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabhogbun, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cabhogbun, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Cabhogbun's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Cabhogbun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. You must love Cabhogbun.