Litcithub is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, witless goblin.

Litcithub created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Litcithub, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Litcithub, she will refuse to believe in you.

Litcithub's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Litcithub's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick great tits.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near hamsters while wearing gray tights and balancing eight copper spheres on your head.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.