Sogjadcap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, merciful swallow.

Sogjadcap created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogjadcap, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sogjadcap, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Sogjadcap's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Sogjadcap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never feed lots of rice to tortoises while wearing indigo scarves.

3. Always obey Sogjadcap's priests.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near ants while wearing purple rings and balancing nine lead spheres on your hands.