Zenvolbedmipfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, irritating gorilla.

Zenvolbedmipfoss created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenvolbedmipfoss, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zenvolbedmipfoss, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Zenvolbedmipfoss' most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Zenvolbedmipfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never sprint in holy places.

4. Run away if seven sharks approach from the north.

5. Always look after injured otters.