Carfemlab is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, cheerful lobster.

Carfemlab created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Carfemlab, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Carfemlab, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Carfemlab's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Carfemlab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never wear magenta boots.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Carfemlab.

5. Do not speak about onions.