Kopfiglarg Tiklargquillril is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, two-faced hedgehog.

Kopfiglarg Tiklargquillril created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kopfiglarg Tiklargquillril, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kopfiglarg Tiklargquillril, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Kopfiglarg Tiklargquillril's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Kopfiglarg Tiklargquillril's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Hide if four frogs approach from the south.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Erect five iron sculptures of Kopfiglarg Tiklargquillril on top of important buildings.