Sankopkikpom Metstipfut is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, kind hydra.

Sankopkikpom Metstipfut created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sankopkikpom Metstipfut, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sankopkikpom Metstipfut, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Sankopkikpom Metstipfut's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Sankopkikpom Metstipfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Always help dogs.

5. Always stare at clouds.