Dimtafnutt is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unjust cow.

Dimtafnutt created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimtafnutt, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dimtafnutt, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dimtafnutt's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Dimtafnutt's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Dimtafnutt six times a day.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

3. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

5. Always help snails.