Cudgumcar Fatmoncit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, cheerful dryad.

Cudgumcar Fatmoncit created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Cudgumcar Fatmoncit, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cudgumcar Fatmoncit, he will curse you with boils.

Cudgumcar Fatmoncit's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Cudgumcar Fatmoncit's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never think about bacteria.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics.

4. Run away if four great tits approach from the west.

5. Do not listen to music.