Teensogpon is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, flying owl.

Teensogpon created the Black Eye Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Teensogpon, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Teensogpon, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Teensogpon's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Teensogpon's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Teensogpon.

2. Hide from orange frogs for they are unholy.

3. Always help voles in need.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Teensogpon.

5. Never look at planets.