Yamnibkom Ripnurtjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, self-assured goat.

Yamnibkom Ripnurtjarn created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Yamnibkom Ripnurtjarn, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yamnibkom Ripnurtjarn, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yamnibkom Ripnurtjarn's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Yamnibkom Ripnurtjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peas.

2. You must love Yamnibkom Ripnurtjarn.

3. Never feed coconuts to doves while wearing violet corsets.

4. You must never eat gooseberries.

5. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.