Tapfadsin is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, emotional owl.

Tapfadsin created energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tapfadsin, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tapfadsin, it will turn you into a rock.

Tapfadsin's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tapfadsin's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Tapfadsin on top of all buildings.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.