Kadortlam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, competent tortoise.

Kadortlam created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadortlam, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kadortlam, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Kadortlam's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Kadortlam's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Kadortlam loves whales, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not speak about aubergines.