Bothonhon is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, tiresome crane.

Bothonhon created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bothonhon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bothonhon, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Bothonhon's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Bothonhon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near monkeys while wearing white coats and balancing nine zinc spheres on your back.

5. Never paint your arms black.