Armfobxemjab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, awesome dolphin.

Armfobxemjab created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Armfobxemjab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Armfobxemjab, he will turn you into a hamster.

Armfobxemjab's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Armfobxemjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.