Kemjarntip is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust skunk.

Kemjarntip created the Large Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemjarntip, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kemjarntip, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kemjarntip's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Kemjarntip's Holy Commandments

1. Kemjarntip must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Worship no other gods but Kemjarntip.

3. Never talk about dark energy near foxes while wearing pink dresses and balancing six lead spheres on your hands.

4. Do not keep seven sharks in a large pit.

5. Erect four silicon sculptures of Kemjarntip on top of important buildings.