Sigflowsig is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-knowing eagle.

Sigflowsig created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigflowsig, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sigflowsig, it will torture you forever.

Sigflowsig's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Sigflowsig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple tapirs, for they are unholy.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Hide from brown doves for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about gravity near seals while wearing blue dresses.