Pigbusmut is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, smart zebra.

Pigbusmut created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Pigbusmut, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Pigbusmut, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Pigbusmut's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Pigbusmut's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never hop near eagles.

3. Erect four platinum sculptures of Pigbusmut on top of important buildings.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.