Tinpodlarn is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, confident gorilla.

Tinpodlarn created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tinpodlarn, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tinpodlarn, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tinpodlarn's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Tinpodlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tinpodlarn's priests.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Pigs are not to be trusted.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not run in public.