Hanxinhap is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, egotistical jaguar.

Hanxinhap created the Small Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Hanxinhap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hanxinhap, he will turn you into a snail.

Hanxinhap's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Hanxinhap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt swans.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.