Febapptafhen Quillargcit is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, kind lobster.

Febapptafhen Quillargcit created the planet Venus four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Febapptafhen Quillargcit, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Febapptafhen Quillargcit, it will turn you into a frog.

Febapptafhen Quillargcit's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Febapptafhen Quillargcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to foxes while wearing hats.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.