Jinhotvannurl is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, pitiless lizard.

Jinhotvannurl created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jinhotvannurl, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jinhotvannurl, she will torture you forever.

Jinhotvannurl's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Jinhotvannurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. You must pray to Jinhotvannurl three times a day.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.