Jabkinpan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, kind warg.

Jabkinpan created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabkinpan, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jabkinpan, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jabkinpan's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Jabkinpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat aubergines.

2. Hide if nine squirrels approach from the south.

3. Do not kill doves.

4. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.