Somcathitfem is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, conceited centaur.

Somcathitfem created the Sun six million years ago.

If you believe in Somcathitfem, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Somcathitfem, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Somcathitfem's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Somcathitfem's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Always obey Somcathitfem's priests.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not take Somcathitfem's name in vain.