Hatspag is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tranquil mongoose.

Hatspag created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatspag, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hatspag, it will come to you in dreams.

Hatspag's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Hatspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill gulls.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Run away if six voles approach from the south.

5. Always pray immersed in water.