Mutquimpasgam is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, tiresome aardvark.

Mutquimpasgam created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutquimpasgam, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Mutquimpasgam, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Mutquimpasgam's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Mutquimpasgam's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never skip in the presence of badgers.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never chant in holy places.