Bonneltig Ladvonkbut is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, charitable crocodile.

Bonneltig Ladvonkbut created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonneltig Ladvonkbut, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bonneltig Ladvonkbut, it will torture you forever.

Bonneltig Ladvonkbut's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bonneltig Ladvonkbut's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat coconuts.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism.

3. Bonneltig Ladvonkbut loves sharks, so they must be respected.

4. Never wear turquoise shorts.

5. Always wear cyan.